July 10th, 2012
For the last few weeks I have selfishly ignored posting in this blog and, in turn, sharing my experiences with the people that are important in my life. A few days ago I was thinking about posting and using the excuse that I do not want to post in this blog because I want to be out enjoying this Alaskan experience. I have come to realize that that attitude is selfish and immature. If you have chosen to take a part of your day to read this blog post from a kid like me, then I thank you wholeheartedly and hope that you will be moved by what I have to say.
Today was my hardest day in Alaska. There are several reasons as to why today was challenging and, if you know me, you will interpret those reasons differently. Nevertheless, I have come to realize that my own troubles are nothing compared to the struggles that many of my dear friends have faced recently. I have been thinking a lot about Ben Dierkes and the Dierkes family and I cannot imagine how difficult this time is. Even though I have slowly grown apart from Ben and many of my other friends from home during my time in college I think about Ben a lot. Whenever I think about Ben I want to call my own mother and tell her how much I love her and how important she has been in my life. My mother, Kristie, was influenced so much by Mary Dierkes, and in a way, the values that my mother learned from Mary Dierkes, have been taught to me and profoundly shaped my life. As I am writing this I am lying in a hotel bed in Fairbanks, Alaska with my mother, father, and sister all sleeping peacefully nearby and I thank God for allowing my family to share this joyous experience with me.
We have been on vacation for the past few days since my family arrived in Alaska on Friday evening. The vacation part occurred due to some unfortunate circumstances, but has turned out to be thoroughly rewarding. Initially, my family was supposed to meet me in Anchorage while I was on a road trip with my team. A few days after pitching the Midnight Sun Game I was still experiencing some major shoulder soreness so I decided to talk to the trainer. He diagnosed me with an AC joint sprain in my left shoulder. We could not figure out how this happened but decided to shut down pitching activities and set up an appointment with the chiropractor. At the chiropractor’s office we decided that the best course of treatment would be prolotherapy, which consists of 8-10 injections in my shoulder with the intention of inflaming the joint so my body would more quickly recognize the need to repair the joint. So, I missed the trip to Anchorage to stay home and visit the physical therapists’ office daily.
With my team gone and an unparalleled absence of friends in Fairbanks (I only knew Enzo, Josh, and my physical therapist, Andrea) I had nothing to do all day except think and worry. This was unhealthy and negatively affected the relationships I have with the people whom I love and if those people feel neglected I completely understand. I lost my love of laughter and was unable to positively communicate with my dearest friends. For the past week I have cursed God for bringing me all the way to Alaska only to injure me and destroy my closest relationships. I felt hopeless and dreaded the final few weeks I would be forced to miserably spend in Alaska. But I think this story has a happy ending that I would like to share.
I have come to realize that there is a reason why I am in Alaska. I don’t know what the reason is, but I believe there is a reason. Maybe this is the apex of my baseball career or maybe this is a warning that this could be the apex of my career if I don’t work hard to improve my talents. Maybe this is the time for me to make new friends, as I have awesome teammates who keep me laughing (shout out to Joey Epperson for giving me the inspiration to write more), or maybe this is my chance to figure out who I really appreciate in this world and to weed out negative influences on my life. I don’t know.
My night began by starting to read a book entitled The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall and I somehow managed to read the entire book in one sitting. The book is about a young man who is taught all of life’s greatest lessons and the young man becomes a remarkably better person throughout the story. Upon finishing this book I became so motivated to live each day in a more positive way because it is truly my own attitude that will determine my happiness and, if I’m lucky, bring happiness to those around me. I am anxious to be back at William Jewell with my teammates and friends and want those guys to know that if they see me slacking to get on my ass and tell me to pick it up. The purpose of our baseball team is to win games, but I have come to realize that it is more important that we build men who are prepared for life’s biggest challenges.
If all goes according to plan I will be pitching soon. For the past few weeks I have missed pitching and I can’t imagine not being able to do something that one is so passionate about. Pitching allows me to think about nothing in life except playing baseball as hard as I can and that mental break from reality truly does soothe the soul. There has been a lot on my mind tonight and if you have read all the way to the end I appreciate that and hope that you have reflected on your own life a little. Wherever you are reading this from, whether that be Iowa, Kansas City, Columbia, or even Fairbanks, I hope that I have brought a smile to your day. Thank you.
